Definition: Otherwise known as "anorgasmia" in medical terms, female orgasmic problems are defined as "a sexual difficulty involving the absence of orgasm in women" (Crooks & Baur, 1999:457). The important thing to realize is that it is only "absent" and it can be present by learning about the problem and taking the necessary steps to solve it.
Two types of female orgasmic problems:
1. Generalized, lifelong anorgasmia
A female who has never experienced orgasm by any means.
2. Situational anorgasmia
A female who experiences orgasm rarely. An example of this would be a female who could orgasm while masturbating herself, but not from stimulation provided by her partner.
Statistics:
- 5% to 10% of adult women in the US have never experienced orgasm by any means of self or partner stimulation (Spector & Carey, 1990).
- According to the famous studies done by Alfred Kinsey on female sexuality, only about 30% of women regularly reach orgasm by penile-vaginal intercourse alone.
- In a survey of 100 happily married couples, "48% of the women reported they sometimes had difficulty in getting sexually aroused, 46% reported intermittent difficulties in reaching orgasm, and 15% were completely unable to have an orgasm." (Heiman & Lopiccolo, 1976:24)
Important facts:
- During penile-vaginal intercourse, women get indirect stimulation that makes it hard for them to achieve orgasm.
- The clitoris needs more direct stimulation during lovemaking in order to achieve orgasm.
Four origins of female orgasmic disorder:
A. Cultural influences
- Negative childhood learning can play a major role
Example: We may learn from parents, religion, school, and culture that sex
is sinful, the genitals are dirty, and/or that masturbation is bad. Sex education
is schools rarely discuss or encompass the joy of sex or how to have a satisfying
sex life.
*This creates negative feelings about sex that can inhibit a woman's response.
Inadequate sex education can lead to pain, embarrassment, fear of pregnancy,
and fear of being caught that can also increase tension and reduce pleasure.
Q: Do you have a positive attitude about sex? Do you enjoy sexual pleasure
and believe you deserve it? Are you comfortable with your body?
A: If you answered "no" to these questions it is possible that negative
childhood learning could be one of the causes relating to your current orgasm
difficulties.
- Sexual double standard
Example: "Women are encouraged to be sexually cautious to avoid acquiring
a reputation of being loose, but part of stereotypical masculine sexual success
is 'scoring'" (Crooks & Baur, 1999:447). Women are also not allowed
to be sexually assertive because it is not considered feminine.
*This inhibits women because they feel they are not allowed to be sexual,
and therefore they may not take the necessary steps needed to become orgasmic
with their partners, such as verbally expressing how they want to be touched.
- A narrow definition of sexuality
Example: In our society sex is viewed as penile-vaginal intercourse.
*This contributes to inadequate stimulation for women and men, leading to
a less enjoyable sexual response, or for some women, none at all.
- Performance anxiety
Example: Some women feel pressured to have an orgasm with their partner, and
it becomes the goal of intercourse. The pressure is sometimes so strong that
some women may fake their orgasms.
*This causes performance anxiety, inhibiting sexual arousal and release for
some women.
B. Individual factors
- Inadequate sexual knowledge and negative attitudes
Example: Many women
know little about the function of the clitoris in sexual arousal and may also
be fearful of sexual pleasure.
*This contributes to the inability to have an orgasm and also inhibits the
sexual desire that could aide in producing it.
- Self concept
Example: Some women feel uncomfortable with their body and are unable to take
an active role in lovemaking because they may feel they are not entitled to
sexual pleasure.
*This leads to low self-esteem that can contribute to lower sexual satisfaction
and Anorgasmia.
- Emotional difficulties
Example: Many women experience problems such as anxiety, stress, and depression.
*This leads to lack of sexual interest and inhibits the sexual response.
- Sexual abuse and assault
Example: Many women experience childhood sexual abuse (such as incest) or
adulthood assault (such as rape).
*These experiences can greatly interfere with sexuality and cause several
sexual problems such as Anorgasmia.
C. Relationship factors
- Ineffective communication
Example: According to the sexual double standard, women are supposed to be
submissive.
*Because of this stereotype, many women feel it is not right to tell their
partner what they want during lovemaking and many times their sexual needs
are never met.
- Unresolved relationship problems
Example: "Unresolved resentment, a lack of trust, inability to combine
love and sexual desire, dislike of a partner, lack of attraction, poor sexual
skills, boredom, or fear can easily lead to sexual dissatisfaction or disinterest"
(Crooks & Baur, 1999:451).
*All of these problems are examples of how sexual dissatisfaction or disinterest
may occur.
- Fears about pregnancy or STDs
Example: Many women are more susceptible to STD's and they must also carry
the responsibility of using contraception if their partner does not do so
himself.
*This might cause a lot of fear and anxiety that can block the sexual response.
- Sexual Orientation
Example: Some women would rather be with a partner of the same sex.
*This may be one reason why a woman would not experience sexual satisfaction
in a heterosexual relationship.
D. Organic factors
- Medication That Effects Sexual Functioning
Example: Several prescription and nonprescription medications can cause negative effects on sexuality. A few examples are antidepressants (used in psychiatric medications,) and antihypertension medications (used to lower high blood pressure.)
*Many women experience a lack of desire or arousal, and a delay or absence of orgasm due to medications.
- Chronic Illness and Disabilities
Example: Illnesses such as Multiple Sclerosis or disabilities such as deafness are two examples that can affect the sexual response.
*These are special cases that require specific therapeutic approaches.
Therapy and enrichment for orgasmic difficulties:
1. Masters and Johnson
Key concepts:
- self awareness
- masturbation
- good communication
- sensate focus
- sexual position with the woman on top
2. 7 Easy, non-threatening steps to learn self pleasuring
These exercises can be done in the privacy of your bedroom (with candles and soft music if you like.)
- Have your partner imitate you.
- Have your partner watch you masturbate.
- Practice extended masturbation (to orgasm if possible).
- Try to get sexually aroused.
- Touch parts of your body that feel arousing.
- Feel your body and explore it with your hands.
- Look at your body alone in detail, using a mirror to inspect your genitals.
3. Vibrators
Vibrators can be an easy way to achieve your first orgasm and help you learn what feels good, and you can also integrate it into lovemaking. Be careful not to rely on it however, because it may decrease your ability to fantasize and cause jealousy or resentment from your partner if they are unable to satisfy you without a vibrator.
4. Other tips
- Learn how to give yourself an orgasm through masturbation.
- Include healthy fantasies with your masturbatory therapy.
- Move in ways that provide you with the best stimulation.
- Stay focused on sexual feelings and practice "Sensate Focus" to avoid negative feelings that will inhibit your response.
- Experiment with oral stimulation, manual stimulation, and body rubbing in addition to penile-vaginal intercourse.
- Tighten your legs and thighs to increase myotonia (muscle tension), which aides in triggering orgasm.
- Do Kegel exercises.
- Help your partner last longer by using premature ejaculatory therapy if needed, such as the "squeeze/tease technique."
- Try the "woman on top" sexual position.
© - Reproduced with permission of SexInfo, University of California at Santa Barbara, 2007.